Love is in the air, but so is the risk of blowing your budget! In today’s episode, our roundtable takes a deep dive into Valentine’s Day spending trends, the real cost of celebrating, and whether or not you actually need to splurge to impress your significant other. Are people really going into debt for this holiday—and not telling their partners? (Yikes.)
Joining Joe today are the always-entertaining Len Penzo, the newly rebranded Jesse Cramer, and special guest Sarah Catherine Gutierrez, who drops in before her internet gives up on love. We’ll also discuss alternative ways to keep romance alive without your wallet running away in terror.
Tune in for laughs, unexpected budgeting wisdom, and the kind of romance only money nerds could truly appreciate.
Deeper dives with curated links, topics, and discussions are in our newsletter, The 201, available at https://www.StackingBenjamins.com/201
Enjoy!
Watch On Our YouTube Channel:
Our Topic: Surviving Valentine’s Day spending
Lovebirds Plan to Spend $179 This Valentine’s Day (LendingTree)
During our conversation, you’ll hear us mention:
- Valentine’s Day spending habits
- Percentage of people who would skip Valentine’s Day
- Gender differences in Valentine’s Day spending
- Gen Z vs. Gen X spending
- Rising costs of dining out
- Babysitter costs
- Credit card debt and Valentine’s Day
- Financial dishonesty in relationships
- How inflation changed spending habits
- Alternatives to expensive Valentine’s Day gifts
- Homemade vs. store-bought gifts
- The power of handwritten notes
- Acts of service as a love language
- Setting spending limits for Valentine’s Day
- Financial transparency in relationships
- Money incompatibility in relationships
- Spending wisely on experiences vs. things
- The reality of debt post-holiday season
- Saving money with at-home date nights
- Unexpected gifts at unexpected times
- The impact of financial stress on relationships
Our Contributors
A big thanks to our contributors! You can check out more links for our guests below.
Sarah Catherine Gutierrez
Another thanks to Sarah Catherine Gutierrez for joining our contributors this week! Learn more about Sarah by visiting her website, Ladysplaining Money, at Ladysplaining.
Check out her book But First, Save 10: The One Simple Money Move That Will Change Your Life
Jesse Cramer
Another thanks to Jesse Cramer for joining our contributors this week! Hear more from Jesse on his show, The Best Interest at The Best Interest – Complex Personal Finance Made Easy Podcast Series – Apple Podcasts.
Learn how you can work with Jesse by visiting The Best Interest – Invest in Knowledge.
Len Penzo
Visit Len Penzo dot Com for the off-beat personal finance blog for responsible people.
Follow Len on X: @LenPenzo
Doug’s Game Show Trivia
- What percentage of Americans in relationships cite finances as their primary source of stress?
Mentioned in today’s show
Join Us on Monday!
Tune in on Monday when we bring you case studies from Microsoft to help you innovate on the job AND with your planning, and welcome innovation scientists Dean Carignan and JoAnn Garbin.
Miss our last show? Check it out here: Wall Street Creates (Yet Another) Hilariously Bad Investment Product (SB1643).
Written by: Kevin Bailey
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] bit: In a world where overspending debt and keeping up with the Joneses rules us all, with the voices from the merchants, restaurants, and credit companies lured over the common man. Out of the darkness, like a beacon of hope comes a new voice. A voice that’s rich and creamy, like your favorite butter and delicious like cheeseburger pizza on your diet cheat day. [00:00:31] It’s the Stacking Benjamin Show. [00:00:40] Doug: Live from the basement of the YouTube headquarters. It’s the Stacking Benjamin Show. [00:00:55] I am Joe’s mom’s neighbor, Doug, and on today’s show, we’re talking love. Ah, what lights up a money geek more than Berry white, and a nice crisp rose served next to a roaring romantic fire. We’ll find out and we’ll also discuss a recent study on Valentine’s Day spending. That definitely does not light us up. [00:01:16] How do you get out of Valentine’s Day with your wallet intact? That’s today’s topic, but that’s not all because at the halfway point of today’s discussion, I’ll fire up my Valentine’s Day trivial love shot. Who’s gonna wait? Oh man. Today’s contest. We’ll see. And now a guy who’s a pro at the Sexy Talk, like when he says, the only thing more powerful than love is a Roth. [00:01:40] IRA started at the age of 18. Oh, Joe, take me to bed or lose me forever. It’s Joe. So [00:01:47] aftershow: see. Hi. [00:01:52] Joe: I don’t think there are things more romantic than somebody that starts a Roth. IRAA, jt. Hey everybody, welcome back to the. Acu Benjamin Show. We’re super happy you’re here. Sit back and relax for another Friday round table and look at this crew we have with us today. Let’s meet them all. First of all, the guy who has a podcast that’s in the middle of being renamed Jesse Kramer’s here. [00:02:15] How are you? Is it still the best interest podcast today? [00:02:18] Jesse: Uh, I think after that intro, it might be the Love Shot podcast for like the next hour, and then we’ll figure out the long term name after that. [00:02:24] Joe: The, the Money Love Shot tm. I’m trademarking it right now. Yeah. He wants a commission on that deal, Jesse. [00:02:31] Yeah, absolutely. But we haven’t announced the name yet. We don’t have a name [00:02:35] Jesse: as of Valentine’s Day. We’ll have a new name. We will have a new name. [00:02:39] Joe: It is Valentine’s Day, but we’re recording it early and you can’t tell us. [00:02:42] Jesse: I mean, I can, as long as you guys don’t spoil it. Oh, the world premiere here in this recording. [00:02:47] Joe: Well, we’re only on YouTube, you know. Oh, we’re keeping it hidden so, so close. We almost got him. I shouldn’t have said that, Doug. Why did I even tell him that? We were live on YouTube. A woman who we’ve been trying to get back over and over and over on this year podcast. Sarah Catherine Gutierrez is back. [00:03:06] How are you? [00:03:07] Sarah Catherine: Hi. Good. So wait, we’re live. [00:03:09] Joe: What’s we believe it or not? Oh God, we do, yes. Did you have any idea? [00:03:14] Sarah Catherine: Uh, no, but hi. [00:03:16] Joe: Well, well welcome. So what’s going on? AP Financial up the road from me, just two hours up the road in Little Rock. [00:03:24] Sarah Catherine: I know we’re still trying to get you out here salsa dancing at our nightclub in Little Rock, so still have not successfully gotten you here, which I think is a real shame. [00:03:34] Joe, I [00:03:34] Joe: don’t know. Did you see me dancing on that? Oh my God. On that I did video show video. You really don’t want to do that, Sarah. We need [00:03:40] Sarah Catherine: you. No, we need you on the dance. Floor. It’s a sad thing. [00:03:43] Joe: I think Sarah Catherine’s like, we need to teach that dude how to dance so we don’t have to watch that anymore. [00:03:48] The little white guy shuffle thing going on. Yeah. Uh uh But what’s going on in the world of financial planning in Little Rock, Sarah, Catherine, [00:03:55] Sarah Catherine: you know, there’s a lot of credit card debt. That’s what we’re seeing a lot of right now, and uh, so I’m really eager to have this conversation today about some Valentine’s spending, I think. [00:04:05] I think there’s a lot of digging out to do from inflation, so that’s a real sad reality. [00:04:11] Joe: I think so too. I feel like we went back to spending the way that we used to after the pandemic ended, inflation went through the roof and we didn’t get a raise. We didn’t ask for raises by and large, and we should have, and we just let the credit card do the heavy lifting. [00:04:25] And speaking of heavy lifting, the guy back doing the heavy lifting on this podcast, because squirrel cam must have been over for the day. Mr. Len Penso is here. How are you man? I am great. [00:04:37] Len: Good to be back. Hello everybody. And uh, Valentine’s Day. What’s going on? The squirrels going wild today. Uh, you know what? [00:04:44] I’d ha I’ll have to check the cam. We’ve had some interesting, uh, you know, we’re getting a lot of group, uh, squirrels now. Whoa. When the squirrel cams off, whoa. You know, Hey, it’s Valentine’s Day, so, uh. You know, I get a little spicy. So you know, you can always stop by and check out the squirrel cam. It’s always there on len penso.com. [00:05:01] Doug: Little polyamory happening in the rodent population. Well, of course it is, [00:05:04] Len: Doug. Of course it is. And, and for all of you out there who I know who are alone, there’s a lot of people out there who are alone on Valentine’s Day, which you know that, that’s always sad, but just remember this folks, just to kind of. [00:05:16] Make you feel a little better is that nobody loves you on any other day either. So it’s not just Valentine’s Day you to feel bad, [00:05:24] Joe: and that is you are a helpless, romantic. Mr. Penso just incre. This tastes no different than the rest of them. You’re born [00:05:34] Doug: alone. You’re gonna die alone. Get over it. That’s right. [00:05:36] Just, yeah. So cheer up. [00:05:38] Joe: Absolutely horrible. Well, we’re gonna talk about some disturbing statistics. I have a survey that was recently released. Doug, you alluded to this earlier. We’re gonna talk about what lights up our money geeks on Valentine’s Day. We’ll do that in the second half of the show. But before any of that, we have some sponsors to make sure this thing goes. [00:05:57] And we’re gonna say hello to them and thank them, and then we’re talking all things Valentine’s Day. So let’s get with it. [00:06:12] The piece that inspired today’s episode comes to us from lendingtree.com, and this is written by Maggie Davis. Love Birds Plan to spend $179 on averages Valentine’s Day, while 56% of people say they would skip the holiday if they could. And what’s funny, Sarah, Catherine, let’s start with you. 56% of people say they’d skipped the holiday if they could. [00:06:37] I think in some ways when it comes to your wallet, can’t you skip this holiday? [00:06:41] Sarah Catherine: A hundred percent you can, but that is really crazy. $170, that seems like a lot of money. I also kind of wanna know like the logistics of this study, like how did they carry it out? Was this a, what are you buying? I mean, are we capturing. [00:06:56] All of the spending that people are doing or just the gift, because I feel like that’s what this thing is not really getting at. [00:07:03] Joe: Yeah, I do think the spending the, like a restaurant now, if I go to a decent restaurant, not even a super nice restaurant, and we have a couple of drinks. I’m looking at three figures right there, Sarah, Katherine, [00:07:16] Sarah Catherine: oh, a hundred percent. [00:07:17] You know, I’ve got young kids. Did you know babysitters now charge 25 bucks an hour? Wow. [00:07:22] Joe: Yes. I’m in the wrong business, [00:07:24] Sarah Catherine: right? So, you know, we’re gonna go to Chipotle and spend 30 minutes there because that’s about how much we can afford for dinner and a babysitter. But then what I think is a little crazy is the skewing of the spending towards men. [00:07:39] It’s like as if women don’t do any of the spending. And again, I think that’s where some of these expenses are not getting caught in this exact survey. So, I, I have to question how the survey was done. What about the outfit? [00:07:53] aftershow: You [00:07:53] Sarah Catherine: know, are we spending 150 bucks on a new outfit? What about the Manny Petty? [00:07:58] Joe: Yeah, [00:07:58] Doug: Doug gets those. Every Valentine’s he gets those. What I spend on lingerie alone is way more than the average. [00:08:05] Sarah Catherine: I wasn’t gonna bring that up or waxing. [00:08:08] Joe: We’re, we’re gonna dive in. I just threw up in my mouth of the 56% of respondents in relationships, let’s get into this piece because you, you brought this up. [00:08:18] 82% will give their significant other a gift. This Valentine’s Day men, 89%, as you mentioned, are much more likely to do so than women’s. 76%. Jesse, does that surprise you? Are you and, uh, and Mrs. Kramer going to be exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts this year? [00:08:35] Jesse: Uh, I don’t know if I, I, I know what I’m getting. Uh, I don’t know what Kelly, what Mrs. [00:08:41] Kramer is getting, but does the statistics surprise me? I, I mean, flatly, plainly speaking, it doesn’t surprise me. Only because, and maybe this is some of what Sarah was getting at, which is like the societal standards and the expectations of who’s buying what for whom, and if nothing else, I mean, I would think, isn’t there some, some stereotype, some standard of, yeah, at the very least, you know, the guy’s gotta get his, his lady a bouquet of flowers and so, you know, well, what, what do you think [00:09:09] Joe: the disturbing part of that is? [00:09:10] The next statistic, Jesse, which is that Gen Zers age 18 to 28. Are the most likely age group to buy their significant others a gift. Gen Xers like me, uh, are the least likely. Is it, are we jaded? Is that the deal? Like Yeah, I’m over it. [00:09:28] Jesse: Yeah. Honestly, that’s what I would say. Like I. Okay, let’s, I’m gonna put myself in a, a Gen Z shoe where I’m maybe in my mid twenties. [00:09:35] I’m in a relationship that’s still growing. Maybe I’m still in the wooing phase. Like of course I’m gonna do something nice for Valentine’s Day. I put myself in the Joe Saul-Sehy shoes, the neighbor Doug shoes, the Len Penso shoes. And, and at this point, like, aren’t we just gonna look at each other and just kind of shrug and be like. [00:09:53] It’s just another day. Well, you know, what’s the difference? Why, uh, let’s save it up. Let’s save the money for this summer’s vacation, or something like that. I don’t need any more chocolates, right? That doesn’t really surprise me either. [00:10:03] Joe: Oh, well let’s go to the one that does surprise everybody. Len. At least it surprised me. [00:10:06] I dunno if it surprised you. And that is the number of people that are going to go into debt. For Valentine’s Day, and they’re not going to tell the person they’re, they’re romantically involved with that. They’re going into debt That [00:10:22] Len: rubbed me. The, isn’t that amazing? That is amazing. I mean, if you think that’s gonna turn into some long-term relationship, healthy relationship, you know, doing, trying to do some deception that way, that’s, that’s not a very good way to get off. [00:10:34] You know, as Gen Xer, myself, Joe, I, I agree that I. Hardly spend anything. You know that what, what is it? $179 you said, basically is what? Yeah, $179. I mean, that’s basically a card. Nowadays, a Hallmark card is about $179, I think. And by the way, Sarah, Catherine, here’s a pro tip for you. As someone who’s had kids, you know, instead of $25 an hour for a babysitter, 25 cents a tablespoon for cough syrup is much more cost. [00:10:59] Sarah Catherine: Oh, no, that’s brilliant, Lynn. So just, I’m gonna come back to you for more tips on, on child rearing. Love that. Oh. [00:11:06] Joe: Pediatricians send your Benadryl is a wonder drug and CPS people, please send your hate mail to len len benzo.com, CCP S. Leave them at home asleep alone. That’s the type of high quality stuff you hear on Stacking Benjamins. [00:11:24] But this Sarah Katherine back to you. This is not just about Valentine’s Day, right when I was a financial planner. I’m sure it’s the same thing today. People just got done getting in over their head at the holiday season, right? We do it around people’s birthdays. Why are we spending so much? People tr so much people. [00:11:41] Why are we spending so much money trying to impress people by gifting them stuff we can’t afford? I. [00:11:46] Sarah Catherine: I know that I love my husband so much. If he bought me a gift, I know I bought me that gift, right? Because we have a joint budget, like, so if I want something, I’m gonna go buy it. I don’t find that particularly romantic, although when you sent that article, I was like, oh, Valentine’s Day I, I hit send on the Mrs. [00:12:04] Seas chocolates for him because he loves them and he will be happy that we both. Spent money on his gift. Right. But I mean, I’ll tell you, like he just cleaned out the garage this past weekend. I mean, there is nothing hotter or sexier than that. There you go, folks. We don’t need gifts. We need acts of service like that. [00:12:24] That’s, that’s what we need. So yes, I think it’s a lot of money. And, and actually looking at the article too, it’s like for an income of $30,000 that that’s, you know, that that $179 is the typical expense and I. I feel like that’s a lot of money for any income, and then it goes higher as the income gets higher and you start kind of doing the budget on that. [00:12:45] And the numbers really don’t add up that we can afford it. And seriously, we really have to look at the actual expenses. It’s not just the $179, it’s the. Dinner. It’s all the things. And you know, if I add it all up a meal, if you pay 20 bucks for a valet, I don’t know, get a babysitter and then a gift, I mean, there’s almost $400 right there. [00:13:07] And you know, oh, this is [00:13:08] Joe: what you were saying earlier. You were saying that number’s low. You think $179 doesn’t even touch it. [00:13:14] Sarah Catherine: Joe. It’s not like I have someone in front of me that’s like, yeah, I got $170 in credit card debt. Don’t know what to do with it. That’s not the way this works. It’s the, Hey, I’d like to talk to you about investing in stocks and bonds, and you have an hour long conversation, and then there’s an, oh, by the way, I have $40,000 in credit card debt. [00:13:31] What should I do? Man, we know this happened. Like people are getting shocked right now with how expensive things are, and so we’ve gotta find some alternatives to this kind of spending and realize it’s not the gift anymore. That’s expensive. Life is expensive. Going out to eat is now just an expensive thing to do. [00:13:51] It’s not what it used to be. And I think that’s where people are getting tripped up on credit card debt, unfortunately. [00:13:56] Joe: Jesse with a young child at home. I didn’t see you shake too much when Sarah Catherine was talking about $25 an hour. [00:14:02] Jesse: Our most recent babysitter, and this might be, you know, hearkening back to last week, there was this whole, you know, what do things cost in Upper Michigan versus New York City thing with neighbor Doug, I don’t know if you remember that. [00:14:12] I think $30 an hour for an assistant like just blew Doug’s mind. I think he’s still in the single digits. But here in upstate New York, think of a [00:14:20] Joe: solid $7, [00:14:23] Jesse: pay them in Nichols. Uh, here in upstate New York, our babysitter, who we like very much, charges us $18 an hour. And because we like her a lot and we want her to come back, we pay her $20 an hour. [00:14:33] So I, I think that’s like the going rate here, you know, 18, 20 bucks an hour, so, right. I mean, in, in Sarah Catherine’s defense, our last date night was like a four and a half hour. Let’s go get a little drink, let’s get some dinner, let’s find a little bakery to have dessert. Afterwards, we were gone four and a half hours, so the babysitting portion of it was 90 bucks, let alone, you know. [00:14:52] The, the, the drink, the food, all that. It does, it, it adds up. It’s expensive. Uh, you know, being, being social and fun is expensive. I guess [00:14:59] Doug: reminds me of a time when, uh, we were out and, uh, I probably had a couple more drinks than I needed to, and my wife drove the sitter home and I just pulled the, the wad of cash outta my pocket and handed it to her and said, here, pay with this. [00:15:14] She just handed the whole wad of cash to the babysitter. She was calling us like every three days. Do you need a sinner? Do you need a sinner? [00:15:23] Sarah Catherine: Did you figure out how much was in there? Yeah. It was like [00:15:26] Doug: three or 400 bucks. Oh God. Yeah. That’s a, that’s a hor. That’s a horrible precedent. And then my wife’s trying to get me to go get it back. [00:15:35] I’m like, I didn’t f that up. You are the one who handed her the whole, didn’t it seem a little thick to you, sweetheart, that you gave me? [00:15:43] Joe: Could you imagine knocking on a teenager’s door? Yeah, it’s been a big misunderstanding. A big, big mistake. Len, what else did you find interesting in this study? I. Um, I dunno, [00:15:56] Len: Joe, uh, oh. [00:15:58] Somebody caught the guy who didn’t do his homework. Uh, let’s see. Uh hmm. Let me look as I scroll down here really quickly. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, did you know 28% of people are cutting back on Valentine’s Day spending? Did you see that? Yes. Yes. And frankly, if you think about that, that seems way low to me. I would think almost everybody would be cutting back on their Valentine’s spending unless you’re right into a fresh, new relationship and you’re really trying to score some brownie points. [00:16:22] But, uh, that seems really, really low to me. 28%. [00:16:27] Joe: And well, and on that note, I like this one, Len, which is 34% of all Americans say they’ve set a Valentine’s Day spending limit with their partner in the past with 11% saying they’ve done so every year. On the other hand, 34%, having consider it. And wouldn’t, why would you not? [00:16:42] Why are you like, no, I’m not putting a spending, I’m, I’m not gonna put a, a spending [00:16:46] Len: cap in [00:16:47] Joe: place. [00:16:47] Len: Holy smoke. I, you know, I don’t know. Does that mean the brand new Lexus isn’t just for Christmas anymore? Right. You can just, that’s a great Valentine’s gift too. So who know? I mean, yeah, that seems absolutely ridiculous. [00:16:58] Uh, you know, not putting some sort of. Limit on your, but you know what, I guess people who use credit cards though, they might not think that way. You know, it’s like use that credit card and it, you’re not really, A lot of people who are addicted to their credit cards aren’t worried about limits because it’s covered by the credit card in the first place. [00:17:14] They deal with the consequences much later. Love. Love is priceless. Len love is priceless. Of course. Come on. It is. Yes. Yes, absolutely. [00:17:20] Joe: I don’t know When it comes to money and relationships, Len, do you and the honeybee. Do you guys around Valentine’s Day, do you set limits on how much you’re gonna spend on each other? [00:17:28] What do you do? [00:17:29] Len: No. Well, like Sarah Catherine was talking about, we don’t buy anything because there’s no secrets with the, I mean, they know what we’re getting unless we specifically say on the very rare, don’t look at the credit card statement for, you know, I got just something and you just get, I mean, and that that has happened on occasion, but I mean, once you get to my age, that kind of stuff just doesn’t. [00:17:50] I, we don’t buy that stuff anymore. You know, the only thing I’ve been really working on is getting a smoking hot body for the honeybee. You know, that’s my best, you know, that’s the best thing you can do for somebody for Valentine’s Day when you get to be my age. And, you know, when you get to be older, you know the best way to get a smoking hot body. [00:18:05] Right. Right. How’s, how’s that? It’s cremation. Cremation is by far the, [00:18:10] Doug: oh my God. No, no, no, no, no. I’m so glad to have Len back. You just see him winding up for that fast flow, like here comes, it’s coming. I know you still can’t hit it. [00:18:25] Joe: He’s been, he’s been planning that all day. How do you, Jesse know? I’ve wondered this since the beginning and I’m sure some of our stackers are wondering the same thing. [00:18:32] How do you know what you’re getting for Valentine’s Day? [00:18:35] Jesse: What, what do you mean? How, how do I decide? [00:18:38] Joe: No, I said about, uh, Mrs. Kramer and you guys give a gift and you’re like, I know what I’m getting, but I don’t know what she’s getting. So how do you know what you’re getting? [00:18:47] Jesse: Yeah. So yeah, how do I make the decision of what I’m gonna buy her? [00:18:49] I. [00:18:50] Joe: That’s what you’re [00:18:51] Jesse: asking. Not what I’m receiving, what you’re [00:18:53] Joe: getting for her. I thought you were saying correct. [00:18:55] Jesse: Sorry. No, no, no. I misspoke. [00:18:57] Joe: Were what you were getting. [00:18:58] Jesse: Yes. Your, your verbal recall was perfect. That’s exactly what I said, but what I meant was what I’m purchasing on behalf of my wife to give her as a gift [00:19:07] Joe: because Did it Doug come across as the opposite of that? [00:19:09] Yeah. I know what she’s getting me, but I’m not sure if she’s getting anything. Yep. [00:19:12] Jesse: That is how I interpreted. Yeah, that’s totally my bad. But to go back and answer your question, I know what I’m buying for my wife because. I get to decide that inside my own brain. So I think that, I think that’s the exit. [00:19:26] Doug: And you’re very proud of that too. I have agency damage. Clearly, [00:19:29] Len: Jesse hasn’t been married that long. ’cause eventually the time’s gonna come when she’s gonna tell you what you’re gonna be getting her. That’s [00:19:35] Joe: right, yes. That comes with time. And you’re thankful for it too, by the way. ’cause everybody knows exactly what’s going on. [00:19:42] Speaking of what’s going on, I wanna address this idea about lying, right, and about surprising people with expensive stuff. And the way we can go about that is let’s start off with this wonderful, uh, clip that I found on Saturday Night Live. [00:20:01] bit: Hey, Matt, I think there might be one more gift for your mom right there, but it hasn’t been a normal year. So this Christmas, get her something extraordinary during the Lexus December to remember sales event. Nathan, you didn’t. With flexible financing and 0% a PR, there’s never been a better time to buy or lease a new Lexus. [00:20:21] Merry Christmas baby. Are you kidding me, Nathan? Did you seriously buy a car without asking me? Well, because for Christmas this is a major purchase. Right. But it, it was a December to remember, it’s a Lexus. We don’t have the money for this, Nathan. We don’t. No, we don’t. Your father doesn’t. Your father hasn’t worked since last March. [00:20:45] What? Yeah. Covid has hit a lot of people hard and I’m no exception. Nathan, you got fired in March, 2019. Covid had nothing to do with it. Hey pal. I guess your old man’s busted. Hmm. It’s beginning to look a lot like savings. So get to your local Lexus dealer today. How much did you spend on this ridiculous car, Nathan? [00:21:04] It was only 39 99 to Its signing four grand. It’s not that much babe. And how much is the monthly payment? The what? Did you think this entire car costs $4,000? Uhhuh? There’s a monthly payment. Yeah, but with the 0% April, I think it’s all good. April, do you mean a PR? I’m pretty sure it’s April. Wow. Just wow. [00:21:26] Joe: And it gets dumber and dumber as you go. That’s about Christmas. But Sarah Catherine, I know that especially in financial planning, I had clients back in the day. That would take me aside and go, don’t tell my husband or don’t tell my wife that I’ve got this $20,000 in credit card debt. You need to know, but, but I, but I’ve got that, uh, Sarah Catherine, I. [00:21:49] Uh, uh, clicked out, so she’s apparently hiding something as well. [00:21:56] aftershow: Oh, damn. I don’t wanna talk [00:21:57] Doug: about your credit card debt live on, I was hoping we weren’t gonna go here on this episode. No, that one [00:22:01] Len: hit too close to home. I guess [00:22:03] Joe: live on YouTube, uh, Jesse, but this, this idea of, of lying to your spouse, how do you broach in a relationship, the fact that you’re. [00:22:15] Your financial picture might not be what your significant other thinks it is. [00:22:21] Jesse: Boy, how do you come clean? Is that what the question is? How do you come clean? That [00:22:24] Joe: is the question. [00:22:25] Jesse: Yeah. This isn’t a money question. It’s more of a, it’s, it’s a totally a relationship honesty question. I mean, personally, I, I would say that, you know, sunshine is the best disinfectant as they say. [00:22:37] And, uh, you just gotta come clean and come out in the open and. What, what, what’s the, uh, there’s some process out there about how to apologize, but, you know, admit to what you’ve done, describe why it was wrong, and tell them how you plan to not do it again going forward. But going back a step, Joe, I just think about how to not get yourself in that position in the first place. [00:22:56] I mean, that’s, that’s what I think about, or at least more of the conversations I have are on that topic of when people are getting into relationships, how to be open and honest. About their finances upfront to begin with and get on the same page early on in a relationship to try to kind of nip that in the bud and, and avoid that big apology situation so that it never needs to come up in the first place. [00:23:18] Joe: Lynn, when, when you and the honeybee were first, uh, dating, or maybe it wasn’t even when you were dating, maybe it was after your married, when did you guys kinda lay out both of your financial pictures? Like I’m sure that wasn’t date number one. But how long down the street, how far down the street were you before you go, you know what, let’s talk about money. [00:23:36] Len: It was pretty early actually. That’s always been for my relationships, it’s always, money to me is the most important. It is, number one. It’s more than sex or anything in a relationship. I think that’s the, the one thing that will totally derail, uh, relationship, a long-term relationship faster than anything. [00:23:52] So we address that really quickly. I know a lot of people think it might not be compatible to have a big spender tied with somebody who’s, and we’re not. Both me and the honey bear both very frugal with our money, and we don’t, we’re not free spenders or anything like that, but, um, I know a lot of people think, well, it’s impossible to have a, a free spender with a, you know, not a, you know, somebody who’s more judicious with their spending. [00:24:13] And I, I think that’s not true. I think you can make it work. I think one of the most important things you have to do though, is somehow you’re gonna have to one, segregate. Your finances if you’re separate like that. Uh, so you don’t, somebody doesn’t get caught overspending for the other person. Otherwise, I think it’d be a big disaster if you’re separate. [00:24:33] Uh, spending habits are different and you have a joint account. Somebody better be on that like a bid. We monitoring that all the time because I can see how, uh, that you get in some real trouble real fast that way. So that’s how you manage things. I think you can always manage your way around things. [00:24:50] Joe: I’m totally with you. [00:24:51] I think that sometimes, uh, somebody who’s a free spender with somebody who’s, who’s tighter is a good check and balance. Yes. The problem I’ve seen is when the free spender has so much charisma that the person that wasn’t a free spender all of a sudden becomes one, and then they become enablers. Jesse, in your relationship, when did you guys start talking about money? [00:25:11] Jesse: Pretty early on. I mean, we’ve been together now seven years and I’d say probably in the first, sometime in the first like six to nine months, we are at least having it. It wasn’t necessarily a conversation about like, well, how do you spend your money? And like, should I be worried about that? But it was more of just feeling each other out to see if our goals were aligned and if our general kind of general philosophies were aligned. [00:25:33] You can pay [00:25:34] Len: attention, you can pay attention. There’s clues you don’t even have to ask if you’re dating somebody. I mean, you can see if they’re driving a real fancy car and they’re living in some really nice digs and uh, they’ve got a job that’s paying, you know, relatively low amount. I mean, then, you know, well, something’s not adding up here. [00:25:48] You can kind of put two and two together if you just do a little detective work on your own. [00:25:53] Jesse: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And probably Len, some of that was going on even if neither one of us knew it. I think after dating for like a year and three months or something is when we moved in together. [00:26:02] And I think that might’ve been the first time where we really were like open kimono. Um, like before then we were probably aware of like, oh, I still have this college loan hanging around. Or like, yeah, you know, I had already purchased a house. I was living in a, a starter home by myself. So she probably knew what the home was worth and what the mortgage was like, but. [00:26:19] When we first moved in, that’s when we really sat down and said, here’s what I earn. Here’s what you earn. Here’s what the household expenses are moving forward, and we kind of took that first step into. Not fully combining, but at least the first step towards combining our finances. [00:26:32] Doug: You walk around in a kimono and she’s still stuck around. [00:26:36] Jesse: Oh, an open kimono. Done. [00:26:38] Doug: Oh, no, no. Happy [00:26:38] Jesse: Valentine’s Day, buddy. [00:26:40] Doug: Oh, damn. [00:26:41] Joe: No, no, no, no, no. All right. And on that wild note, I think, uh, normally here we break for the trivia, but Sarah Catherine. Rodas. For those of you listening later, we took a wild pause because Sarah Catherine just dropped out and her Internet’s gone. [00:26:59] So we’re gonna bring back the trivia next week. Coming up in the second half, I ask people on social media for money geeks, for money, geek friends. What is sexy? What is romantic, and how do we make Valentine’s Day romantic for our money Geek friends, we’re gonna hear from Len and from Jesse and from people on social media in just a minute. [00:27:26] shout out: Hey, this is Andy Hill from the Marriage Kids and Money Podcast, and when I’m not singing Disney karaoke songs with my kids at home. I’m Stacking Benjamins. [00:27:36] Joe: All right, Len, let’s start with you, man. Valentine’s Day. What’s the Len Penso money Geek equivalent of Barry White dimmed lighting. Well, [00:27:47] Len: A [00:27:47] Joe: and keeping it [00:27:47] Len: within a budget of some sort is what you’re talking about. [00:27:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything homemade. It’s joking about the Hallmark cards a wa, but I mean, if you just do a simple card that you make yourself, or a simple note for first, for the first thing in the morning as a greeting, put that down there where. Your significant other usually hangs out and gets her coffee or whatever that means more than usually a regular card that’s pre-written for that. [00:28:10] So I mean, that’s something you can do on your own. And even when it comes to dinner, don’t go out to dinner, go to the store, grab some nice fresh vegetables and a couple of nice steaks and cook dinner yourself. Put a couple candles on the table or whatever. I mean, there’s so many ways you can do things on the cheap and it means so much more. [00:28:28] And it’s, um. If you’re fortunate enough to still have your parents around, the grandparents, take the kids to the grandparents, drop ’em off, um, and you, you’d have a really nice day on, on your own without spending a lot of money at all. And like I said, it’s all done personally and that to me that goes the furthest of anything, even better than going out to a fancy restaurant or what have you. [00:28:49] It really is more memorable. I think [00:28:51] Joe: Cheryl, one year we were having a nice warm February, like we do from time to time here. On Valentine’s Day at about six 30, she just goes, come on. And I’m like, well, where are we going? And she has a picnic basket and grabs a bottle of wine and takes us behind our house. [00:29:08] There is a golf course and on the green she spreads out. She spreads out this blanket and we got the stars above us and it was maybe, you know, 65 degrees. And we sat out there and just had a picnic. And to your point, Len. That was one of the most memorable Valentine’s Day gifts I’ve ever had. Yeah. And it cost, we had to eat anyway. [00:29:28] It cost the price of a, of course, yeah. Grocery store bottle of wine. [00:29:31] Len: Yep. I mean, and that shows thought too. I mean, it just shows a lot more thought. It shows more level of caring and it just means more, it really does. [00:29:38] Joe: You know, and there’s something else too that you said early on about the card that I also don’t want to dismiss or go past without taking a second and talking about it. [00:29:47] The idea, even in a non-romantic way. You know what I treasure? I treasure handwritten notes. Yes. When somebody sends me a handwritten note and the fact that they took the time to put pen on paper and put it in an envelope and send it to me, like that’s not lost on me. And, and I, I can’t be the only one. I think if you really wanna impress somebody, write them a handwritten note. [00:30:10] It is amazing. I always say I’m gonna do it. I never do. But when somebody sends me one, I’m always just, just wowed by that. Jesse, what lights you up as a money nerd on Valentine’s Day? [00:30:23] Jesse: I was just thinking, uh, I’ll answer your question, but I was just thinking too, uh, finding Forrester. Have you guys seen this movie Finding Forrester? [00:30:28] Sean Connery is a, a reclusive writer in New York City, befriends a young basketball playing high school student. Anyway, a great movie. Very good movie. Highly, highly recommend it. Maybe if it’s streaming, uh, or somewhere free online, you can watch it for free on Valentine’s Day. Wait a minute. [00:30:44] Doug: Doug is our movie guru. [00:30:45] Have you seen Fighting Forrester? I’m the guru. I have seen it. It’s been a lot of years, but I’ve seen that movie. Yeah. You are the movie guru. [00:30:52] Jesse: There’s a great line that you guys reminded me of where Sean Connery is giving some, some love advice to this, his young, uh, protege, if you will. And he says, the key to another person’s heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. [00:31:05] And, and to some extent now. Everyone’s kind of expecting a gift on Valentine’s Day, so I’m not sure you can get the unexpected time part down, but the whole idea of like what you guys were talking about, that handwritten note, for a lot of people, that is an unexpected gift and it just, it’s, it’s extra special. [00:31:19] So kudos to you guys. I like it. [00:31:21] Joe: It’s funny, but hang on, Jesse, before you answer that because I wanna, I wanna keep on that train for just a second because my favorite part of this book I love called Never Eat Alone. And about the value of relationships. Really, really good book. Highly recommend this. My favorite meme, by the way, about Never Eat Alone is a picture of a dude in the break room eating alone while he is reading the book. [00:31:40] It’s kind of funny, but Keith Ferrazzi, the guy that wrote this, said, don’t be ashamed even if you have just a little tiny apartment to have people over at your house. And also, don’t be ashamed to make it a, uh, potluck. People love potlucks. Just have people over at your house, even if you only have folding chairs. [00:31:59] People love it. You’re gonna have a great time. And a potluck solves all the money issues with that. And he even said, he goes, but for a really special occasion, and I’ve done this a couple times, find some local non-professional musician, or just barely professional musician. In other words, somebody that you either can, can pay inexperience. [00:32:20] Or not pay. Maybe it’s high school kids that you know who are in the band and are pretty good. Have them come to your living room halfway through the party. Don’t tell anybody they’re coming. This is the key, the unexpected time part. Jesse was huge. Don’t tell that they’re coming. And at the halfway point, these three people with violin show up these three high schoolers with violins and they play a few songs for us. [00:32:42] And I gotta tell you, when I’ve done that at a couple parties, that is kick ass. It is so amazing. [00:32:47] Jesse: That’s a good idea. And actually, I think our babysitter plays the flute. She only charges $18 an hour, so we might get her to come over and play some, uh, play some tooth. No. No one. Okay. Good boy, Doug. Good boy. [00:33:02] Good boy. [00:33:07] Did I need to pick a different instrument? I mean, the drums. Come [00:33:09] Len: on man. Hey, can I bring something up? So now that this has gone off the roast, please. You were talking about. Jesse was talking about movies and stuff. I think Jesse and was talking about the movies. There’s another way to save money is instead of going to the movies and spending a ton of money, you know, you can do a pay-per-view in your at your house. [00:33:27] Right. Well, on a related note to that. Me and the honeybee wanted to watch a movie and, and my son brought up that, Hey, you know, instead of doing the pay-per-view, you can, you know, I, I’ve got a way you can see this movie for free, you know? I was like, oh, really? And he’s like, oh yeah, you know, there’s a website and you can see almost any movie you want, you just go. [00:33:44] It’s like, oh, okay, so yeah, sure, hook it up. So, you know, he, he got his computer and hooked up to our, to our tv and he’s like, okay, well, me and the honeybee, we picked our movie and we started watching it. And we were enjoying it. And it’s near, and I, before it started too, I was asking myself like, how do they make money? [00:34:01] You know, where does the money come in? How do, how do people make money doing this if, if you’re just checking this online and you know, some website’s playing these, and he’s like, oh, they just sell ads or whatever. And I was like, oh, okay. Well we’re watching the movie. I don’t see any ads at all. We’re about 75% through the movie and in the lower right corner of our tv. [00:34:17] Now we’re watching this on like a 70 inch television set, right on the lower right corner of the screen while we’re watching the movie out. Slides out a picture. There’s, it’s, it’s a naked woman. Oh, basically, oh yeah. It’s sitting there and, and there’s, there’s a little note there and it says, Hey, I’ve got four pictures of me, four pictures of me with nothing on, and I’d really love you to. [00:34:41] To come and visit my pictures gallery. And I was like, I mean, kind of embarrassing, but uh, you know, I just laughed it, it was quite funny. So I, I did realize that’s how, now I know how these. These companies make their money from, you know, ’cause I can see all these, uh, you know, teenage boys and 20 year olds, uh, absolutely forget the movie. [00:35:02] And they start clicking on the, the, oh, hey. Yeah, let’s take a look at those. There goes the movie. Then they’ve made their money in a pirated video, or do you think the video was there legitimately? I’m not saying anything about whether the video was pirate or not. I can’t, I won’t say anything, but I will say I definitely know now how they make their money. [00:35:19] I can’t imagine the Paramount pictures are like, Hey, we got [00:35:22] Joe: a new idea. Here’s, here’s, here’s what we’re gonna do. Yeah. Sony’s like, this is the best thing ever. You often wonder what happens at the Penso house and now, you know. [00:35:35] Len: Yeah. I’m just glad we didn’t have like four, you know, our neighbors over for the movie too, at the say, that would’ve really been something. [00:35:41] Joe: Uh, but Jesse, all of that, and we still haven’t heard, we still haven’t heard what you’re, your, uh, what lays you up for Valentine’s Day. [00:35:50] Jesse: Well, and, and especially outta budget, you’re asking Joe, right? Or like, you know Sure. What, what the finance nerd would want to do on Yes. On Valentine’s Day. Well, I, I thought of some ideas and, and some of it comes down to what the individual people are interested in. [00:36:01] ’cause it’s like, you know what, if you’re foodies and you’re personal finance nerds and you wanna do something fun and creative, you know, here at Wegmans we have this Wegmans app, and you can go on the app and you can see what’s on sale in the store. So, okay. You know, take what Len was saying. You, you can make your own meal at the store, but do it on sale only use stuff that’s on sale. [00:36:21] They say, uh, restriction breeds creativity. Yeah. Well, great. The restrictions of only using things that are on sale is gonna breed some kind of creative meal, and it’ll be a fun little adventure for, for you and, and, uh, whoever your Valentine’s partner is or, um. Maybe you like to travel or you just like adventures. [00:36:37] So it’s like, okay, for a Valentine’s Day romantic activity, you, you each have to bring the other partner a local one day adventure that’s gonna cost, you know, 50 bucks or less or something like that. I think that’s another really cool one that I, I could think of some road trips or just some, some cool things around Greater Rochester that we’ve never done before that. [00:36:57] I know that’s something that my honeybee, I need to come up with nickname for her, but that’s something that she would really like, is that kind of DIY, uh, frugal adventure. So I, I just think depending on who you are and who your partner is and the things they like, those can be some really fun cheap Valentine’s Day activities. [00:37:13] Joe: Those are great ideas. I really like the idea of, of putting those restrictions in place because when you do, you, your brain does always get creative. Like it’s, it’s incredible what your brain does. I asked people on, uh, blue Sky what they thought, and, um, invest quietly said, I’m always a sucker for a well-developed spreadsheet. [00:37:36] So imagine sharing spreadsheets like put on some Barry White? No. [00:37:40] Jesse: Oh, what if you gave somebody a rose? [00:37:45] Doug: Oh boy. [00:37:48] Len: ROWS Leave the bad jokes to me, Jesse. Okay. That that’s, [00:37:55] Joe: oh, did I tell you guys, by the way, Cheryl has been just a pain lately. She’s been horrible. She told me she’s sick of me pretending I’m a flamingo, and that’s when I put my foot down. [00:38:12] Miranda says, I mean, I do love it when somebody wants to talk, investing with me or splitting the cost of a cruise as a single person. A cruise buddy is a nice clutch, so I do like the idea of splitting something. Let’s do something that we wouldn’t normally do and let’s split it. That’s nice. Uh, Ute in Oregon said, compound interest calculations. [00:38:35] That’s, that’s some whisper compound interest calculations in somebody’s ear. [00:38:39] Len: I’m hearing romance. Here’s something on a related note, you know, the rule of 72 is actually the rule of 69. Did you know that? Oh [00:38:46] bit: boy. [00:38:47] Len: No, it’s true. It’s absolutely true. It’s, they just say the rule of 72. It’s, it’s truly 69. [00:38:54] What’s the problem there, Doug? You look uncomfortable. [00:38:57] Joe: I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop leg. There’s no other shoe. We’re waiting for the [00:39:01] Doug: end of that and we’re all afraid. We’re very afraid. Joe, can I throw an idea out there to get this back on Main Street instead of the Red Light District where Lens taking us when we were just getting started and didn’t have a lot of money, I. [00:39:18] A came up with what I thought was a genius idea, but also it became very difficult to keep going. But I would do Valentine’s Week and for the seven days leading up to Valentine’s Day, would do little, little things but try to do. A surprise. So it might just be a bag of Hershey’s kisses with a note, a nice note. [00:39:41] And I would put that in the, on her car seat. So when she wanted to go out to work in the morning, she would see this little surprise thing and that would be it. That would be day three or you know, whatever it was. But it was just small stuff like that. It was the little note, but holy cow, that is hard. To sustain over a marriage. [00:39:58] I think I made it like 10 or 12 years and it just became more and more. ’cause you can only go back to the Hershey’s bag of Hershey’s Kisses so many times before it just looks like you’re mailing it in. So it got really tough to do a week of little things, but, um, but it, it did work for a while and it certainly saved a lot of money and, and like the seventh day was never like, maybe I’d make dinner. [00:40:21] It wasn’t the big night out, super expensive thing. It [00:40:24] Joe: was, well, I do like Sarah Catherine’s idea of access service. You know, clean out the garage. Yeah. Like that’s a great, it’s a great thing. I wish Cheryl would do that. She’d start clean out the garage, be so romantic. Those are pretty good ones. Thanks everybody. [00:40:41] That, uh, contributed those on, uh, my burgeoning blue sky, uh, my new social media. I. Platform that I’m spending a little time on, having fun, experimenting with new places. I think that’s gonna do it for today. Guys, thank you so much for contributing to a phenomenal Valentine’s Day and, uh, early birthday present for Mr. [00:41:00] Penso. And I, uh, Jesse, [00:41:03] Jesse: I, I, I was just curious, can we do the trivia question for fun or are you gonna save it for a future episode? [00:41:11] Doug: Uh, Doug, what do you think? Man, I think it’s pretty apropos for this episode. I say we just run it. Just for fun. No points. No points for the yearly total. Maybe. Maybe for the overall competition. [00:41:23] You know [00:41:23] Joe: what, I’m gonna shut that down. We’re not doing it. We are not doing it. We’re gonna end the episode. Jesse, what’s going on at the, whatever the heck you’re calling it, podcast. [00:41:32] Jesse: My podcast that used to be known as the Best Interest Podcast, and as of you hearing this in your ears now has a new name that you have to go and find out for yourself. [00:41:41] Uh, we just released episode 100 in which we announced the name change and we play back some of our favorite. Bits and bites from the first 99 episodes. And, uh, coming up soon, I think, uh, next episode we have, uh, coach Carson, Chad Carson, a terrific mind in the, uh, residential real estate investing world, coming on to share some of his wisdom with us. [00:42:03] Joe: It’s funny, the longer I know, Chad, it’s weird how much we’re alike. You know, in my hometown in Texarkana, I’m part of a nonprofit group that builds walking trails around town. Yes. Works for the city. Yes. And so is he. Exactly. I think we, we have like the same nonprofit stuff we do. It’s crazy. Totally. [00:42:20] Jesse: And I mean, having spent time with you at FinCon Joe, I know that you’re also like a six foot 4, 240 pound former collegiate linebacker. [00:42:27] Yes, exactly. So you guys have that in common [00:42:28] Joe: too. We are very, very much We were, we, that’s crazy. We were both college athletes, however, his was a little bit, uh, a little bit bigger stage than mine was. I would say Clemson football. Little better than Citadel cross country. [00:42:41] Jesse: No, I’ve watched enough ESP n to know that that’s not true. [00:42:44] Citadel. Cross country. Citadel. [00:42:46] Joe: Cross country is where it’s at. Yeah. It’s huge. That’s right. And they’re still running. And look at that. They’re running. And one guy passed. The other guy, my God, it was left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. That time Bob. It was incredible. Mr. Penso, what’s going on@lepenso.com, my friend? [00:43:02] Len: Oh, I don’t know. It’s the same old crap over here. You know, it really doesn’t matter. All I care about is you come over and click on the ads, and that’s all I care. You don’t even have to stay. Just click the ad and leave. That’s le penso.com. Saturdays is kind of fun though. I do the, the squirrel cams are on Saturdays on our black coffee, which is a lot of fun ’cause I highlight the best tweets and financial, uh, financial news of the, of the week. [00:43:24] So it’s, it’s a fun little thing, but, uh, if you wanna do that. Come on by. And if not, just stop on by. And like I said, click the ads and then you can leave and take you five seconds and I’d appreciate it. So thanks, [00:43:34] Jesse: Len. I’m, I’m on the site now and the ads. She’s not wearing many clothes and she’s talking about her pictures. [00:43:40] Is that [00:43:41] Len: the ad to click on? That’s the, you got it my friend. Those pay the most. The ones those, if it has an xxt, those pay the most. It all happening. What is happening? I don’t know what’s happening. Thanks, Jesse. Thanks for bringing that up. Yeah, your checks in the mail, but that’s great. Believe me, if you click on that one, there’s enough for both me and you. [00:43:59] So we’ll, February [00:44:00] Doug: fifteenth’s about to be the busiest day in len penso.com. History, [00:44:05] Len: by the way, it is our birthdays coming, our, our birthdays are coming up, Joe, both of us. So you know, we’re both getting old, bald guys birthdays. I mean, that’s the bad news. The bad news. We’re both getting old, but you know what the good news is. [00:44:17] Old age doesn’t last very long, so that’s, we got that to look forward to. God, [00:44:22] Joe: on that note, on that inspiring note, Doug, uh, get us out of here ma’am, what should we have learned today? [00:44:30] Doug: Uh, I can’t imagine a lot, but, uh, I’ll give it a shot, Joe. First, I can’t believe when Jesse said that thing about giving an unexpected gift, like an open kimono. [00:44:42] Uh, Jesse, can you summarize that for us again? [00:44:45] Jesse: Yeah. If you’re gonna buy less graphically, if you’re gonna buy your partner, if you’re gonna buy your partner something special for Valentine’s Day, see if it qualifies as an HSA expense. [00:45:05] Doug: Oh, it’s fantastic. Joe doesn’t get it yet. Uh, second, as usual, Len really brought the heat today. Hey, Len. As someone who’s been married 74 years, what advice would you give to the youngins? [00:45:21] Len: Nothing, Glen. Isn’t that where you put the cricket, the cricket sound effect in after that? No, I was, ’cause you’ve got nothing. Don’t get old kids. When has this changed Since I’ve been gone? What is it that you’re asking questions in the closing? Now you’re supposed to just say what you learned and then I’m, this is the part where I kind of cruise. [00:45:42] You just take a nap. Doug’s getting lazy. Yes. I didn’t realize you’re making me do homework in the close. Actually, we like it better. I do like it better when we have people say what the what the what the thing was. Here. Ask me again what was the que I don’t even remember what the question was. I wasn’t, [00:45:57] Doug: you know what I was thinking of when I wrote it, Len, was when you said that money’s. [00:46:01] More important to a happy marriage and being in line aligned with was more important than sex or anything else. So yeah, that’s what I was thinking of. So, 3, 2, 1. As usual, Len really brought the heat today. Hey Len. As someone who’s been married for 74 years, what advice would you give to the youngins listening? [00:46:21] Len: Um. I don’t know. I, I can’t give you a witty answer for that. I’m sorry. [00:46:26] Doug: I literally just told you what the answer was. [00:46:36] Len: Look, I’m a little rusty at this round table stuff, so you can spell it out for him, Doug again. [00:46:46] Doug: Okay. Doug, what’s the big lesson? What’s the big lesson, Doug, you mean besides that one? Well, Joe, the big lesson, I think today’s discussion proves that love is like Joe’s mom’s basement, ignore the cracks too long and it’s gonna cost you big time. [00:47:05] Thanks to Len Penso for joining us today. You’ll find more of len’s work@lenpenso.com or squirrels after dark.com. We’ll also include links in our show notes at Stacking Benjamins dot com. Thanks to Sarah Catherine Gutierrez for hanging out with us today for like 15 minutes. You’ll find her fabulous financial planning work and shit was like when the popular girl comes over to your table at lunch and realizes, oh yeah, these guys are a nerd. [00:47:32] I’m out. Yeah, no thanks to her internet service. Yeah, it was her internet service. You’ll find her fabulous financial planning work@ladysplaining.com. Maybe my favorite website name ever. And thanks also to Jesse Kramer for joining us today. You’ll find his podcast somehow. Like just go out and search the internet. [00:47:51] You’ll figure it out somehow. You know, you’ll find his best interest podcast or whatever the kids are calling it these days, wherever you are listening to us right now. So go subscribe if you can solve the riddle. [00:48:07] This show is the property of SP podcast LLC, copyright 2025, and is created by Joe Saul-Sehy. Joe gets help from a few of our neighborhood friends. You’ll find out about our awesome team at Stacking Benjamins dot com, along with the show notes and how you can find us on YouTube and all the usual social media spots. [00:48:28] Come say hello. Oh yeah. And before I go, not only should you not take advice from these nerds, don’t take advice from people you don’t know. This show is for entertainment purposes only. Before making any financial decisions, speak with a real financial advisor. I’m Joe’s Mom’s neighbor, Duggan. We’ll see you next time back here at the Stacking Benjamin Show. [00:49:41] aftershow: Welcome to the after [00:49:41] Joe: show. This is the part of the show that doesn’t exist. Thank God. Doug. Doug, what’s our trivia que? We got trivia head to head between Len and Jesse today. [00:49:50] Doug: Alright. Okay. It’s a cage match. Want me to like do the actual script or just read the question? Let’s do the script man. Let’s do it. [00:49:58] Okay. Because you worked, you worked so long on this one. [00:50:07] Hey there, stackers. I’m Joe’s mom’s neighbor, Doug, and happy Valentine’s Day everyone. You know what I love for Valentine’s Day? A nice crisp. Mercifully short trivia question. That’s what, here’s today’s. What percentage of Americans in relationships cite finances as their primary source of stress? I’ll be back right after I help Joe’s mom by taking out the garbage ’cause that will quickly relieve some stress guaranteed. [00:50:35] Joe: All right, Len, uh, you brought this up by the way, that money Yeah. Bigger stress than anything else. What, what percentage of people agree with you that money’s the number one stressor? [00:50:46] Len: I think it’s super high. I’d, I’d be shocked if it’s not. I, I would say. At least four out of five, at least four out of five people. [00:50:58] I’d say four and a half. I’ll say 85%. 85% [00:51:02] Jesse: Jesse. So I feel like because it’s a one-on-one, it would be unfair of me simply to take the under and say 84%. Just [00:51:12] Doug: 84. [00:51:13] Jesse: Yeah. I feel like that that’s like, that’s a rookie move. Yeah. For a two person game. I agree. Yeah. But I’ll, I’ll say my first instinct, you know, what you should [00:51:21] Len: have had us do is write the answer down and put it in front of the, [00:51:25] Jesse: we [00:51:26] Joe: know. [00:51:26] Jesse: Now, I’ll try to be an honest broker here because as you were reading the question, and I just wanna make sure it’s right, it’s what percentage of people listed as their number one stressor? Yeah. [00:51:36] Doug: Yeah. That’s the spirit of the question. Yeah. [00:51:37] Jesse: Yeah. I, I was gonna say like somewhere between a third and half, so I’ll just say 40% was gonna be my, if you had made me go first, I would’ve said 40%. [00:51:46] Joe: All right. 85% and 40%. Doug, what’s our answer? Who’s [00:51:49] Len: gonna win this thing? That’s good. Jesse, thank you for being such a upstanding, high character individual. I [00:51:54] Jesse: Googled it lens well. I didn’t wanna say 84. I would look stupid. No, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’m kidding. But I’ve, I’ve written about it before and I’ve just, I, something about that stat I wanted to think like, I think it’s a plurality, like it might be the most common answer, but for some reason I didn’t think it’s above 50%. [00:52:12] ’cause there are all these other reasons that it could be too. [00:52:14] Joe: Well, let’s see, Doug, who’s gonna take home the win? [00:52:19] Doug: Hey there, stackers. I’m stress producer and guy who can’t seem to find any lessons for the language of love on duo lingo, Joe’s mom’s neighbor, Doug Ah, Valentine’s Day. Based on this discussion, it’s apparently a day when you go into debt and lie to your partner about it all in the name of making him happy. [00:52:37] Sounds about right. It’s no wonder we’re stressed out. Well, here was the question. What percentage of Americans in relationships cite finances as their primary source of stress? The answer, well, it was 48% less than what OG guessed, and just 3% less than what Jesse guessed. Well. Yeah. ’cause we want OG to be wrong, right? [00:53:01] So og Yeah, because he Lin was throwing it for og. Yeah. Len was playing for og. So it’s important that everybody takes away from this, that OG sucked canal water on this one. Even without being here, even without being here, uh, it was 48% less than what OG slash Len guest and just 3% less than what Jesse guessed, because the answer is 37%. [00:53:25] Making, most importantly, not og our winner. [00:53:29] Joe: But you know, it is funny when you dive into that, where it would lend to your point when, uh, finance isn’t number one, it’s a close number two. I don’t know if you remember that, Jesse, from looking at that, uh, before, but, but clearly very, very, very close. What’s number one? [00:53:44] Uh, that is number one, I’m saying in people’s stresses. [00:53:47] aftershow: Oh, oh. [00:53:47] Joe: People that don’t have it listed as number one. ’cause our question was, what’s the number one stressor? They have it listed as the number two stressor. I see. So finance, I see, yeah. Is a huge stressor for everybody. Just some people have, you know, problem, families, jobs, whatever. [00:54:02] Yeah. Other stuff going on. So [00:54:05] Len: I’m just, sorry, this wasn’t official. ’cause then it would’ve officially counted against og, but, oh, well. I [00:54:09] Joe: know. So [00:54:09] Len: that’s too bad. [00:54:11] Joe: Well that’s just your warmup, man. That’s just the warmup. Next time. Okay, great. Next time.
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