Most people understand Michael Scott, or his original character David Brent from the hit TV show “The Office” as a bumbling, silly individual who only ever wanted to be liked. The problem is, that as a boss, wanting to be liked is one of the worst attitudes you can have. It’s a perfectly natural and human desire to want the people you lead and manage to like you and your decisions, but ultimately, you are a human first, a manager second, and a friend third.
For this reason, it’s important not to overdo it. No one owes you their appreciation or respect, but it can grow naturally if you care for the careers and the people you manage. It also means being able to weather the storm of not being liked. After all, making the hard decisions, even if they’re not appreciated at the start, is part of being a leader.
A “my way or the highway” approach, however, can also make you a brittle leader. If there’s something worse than being disrespected, it’s being actively disliked and denigrated at every turn. So – is there a middle ground, where you manage your staff’s appreciation because it’s easier to manage them and a nice to operate a healthy workspace, without needing or begging for that appreciation?
We believe so, and it’s easier than you might think. In this post, we’ll help you get started:
Communicate Clearly & Transparently
The worst approach a boss can take is playing “mind games” or being temperamental about their attitudes. If a staff slights you or fails to complete something, telling them directly what the problem is, and the corrected behavior you expect is much healthier than just giving them the silent treatment, or being manipulative. This might sound obvious, but emotions can run high in stressed environments, especially if you’re in a hyper-busy environment like a restaurant kitchen. Simple, transparent, imperative, directing language is absolutely essential to get right. Keep consistent, and staff will understand what you mean and what you expect of them.
Lead by Example
It’s important to lead by example in almost any way you can. That means never asking them to do something you cannot or are not willing to do yourself. Sure, you might not be part of a military unit rushing headfirst into battle before your team, but it’s more focused than this. For example, if a head chef doesn’t think that wiping down and cleaning up the restaurant stations is below them, that will gain the respect of your team. Leading by example, even down to the dress code, is how you inspire staff to be better. They should want to rise to your level, not sink below you.
Plan Their Schedule Correctly
The one way a boss is respected is by showing they care about your working efforts and dedication and won’t ask more of you than is reasonable. For example, using break assignment software to show that yes, you do deserve your scheduled rests, even during busy days, will sustain respect. It will also help you avoid burning staff out or being blamed for staffing issues because the schedules will be correctly managed.
You’d be surprised just how much scheduling issues can contribute to staff conflict and manager-staff friction. Removing this difficulty from the root can, in all seriousness, help most of the issues that would have caused staff trouble in the first place, especially if you manage shift work.
Empower Your Staff
The best way for anyone to like you is to feel respected by you. It’s why when an individual is respectful of our presence, greets us well, and offers a polite gesture, we tend to think well of them. This also translates to management. Trusting them to do the job you’ve hired them for, not overshadowing them at every opportunity, causing them to worry about their contribution, or suffering confusion because of unclear directions is key.
Empowering your staff is also about being mindful of their needs and understanding they’re going to make mistakes. Delegating defined responsibilities, keeping an open-door policy for course correction (when it’s needed), and listening to feedback are all a staff member needs to feel respected. They will likely respect you in turn.
Maintain Professional Boundaries
Ultimately, you have to be seen as a figure at work, not someone who is overly keen to celebrate with staff, to see them in off-hours, or to party hard with them if that’s what you enjoy doing. Work might be fun in places, but it shouldn’t be a social hangout where you have no boundaries.
This can seem simple in practice, but if you see your staff in a bar, or are invited to social events that aren’t specifically work-related, it’s good to decline and maintain that boundary. It’s not because you dislike those individuals, but because you know that sustaining that professional ethos means being professional with them at all times.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be human; it means you respect them enough to be consistent. It’s hard to discipline someone you’ve become friends with or to act objectively and reliably to the policies you’re contracted to work from. Of course, this is absolutely applied to romantic involvement also, even if you’re entirely single, you have a duty of care and it’s unethical to become involved with anyone you manage, regardless of intent.
Focus On Developing Careers
It’s important to note that while you might hire people to work for you for fair compensation, you attract the best talent by developing careers capably. Staff with skills want to know they can improve at your firm, develop their value, and eventually move on to bigger things, or grow with you towards them.
That means every boss or manager needs to take the idea of career cultivation seriously. Do you need to provide every single opportunity to your staff without a second thought? Of course not, but those who work hard should be rewarded, and a tangible, good-faith effort to help those under your wing can make a massive difference.
Of course, the more investment you place in your staff, the more productive and capable they become. This in itself is a worthwhile outcome worth investing in, but showing that you reward hard work with care makes a real difference. It’s one of those investments you implement because it makes logical sense, but of course, staff do appreciate your care, attention, and willingness to trust their progression. If you intend to lower staff turnover without gimmicks, this is the path.
Set Your Principles
Who are we most likely to appreciate and respect as a leader? The individual who defers to us for every decision, or the person with principles who uses those to help them make decisions, and is willing to accept the consequences for doing so?
Becoming that kind of leader might seem tough, but it involves trusting your perspective. Now you have responsibility, how do you think the department should be run? What are the core values of your business, and how is that reflected in your leadership style?
Setting your principles is about setting who you are as a leader. It also means being comfortable in the hard decisions because they align with the principles that matter than you. All of a sudden you have a core of management capability you can rely on, one that you appreciate and care for. All of a sudden, the fickle attitudes of staff are something you don’t worry about, you simply treat them well, point in the direction you believe best, and manage outcomes appropriately. If there’s anything to secure fond feelings, it’s that.
With this advice, you’ll be certain to ensure your staff like you, without acting like Michael Scott.
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